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Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Borderline between Hatred and Love

For those who do not know me, you can call me Escathon or Esca.
Members of Tsuki-board know me as Zetsubo-san and Otakai Figure Society residents know me as Crisis Core's non-protagonist. I am also the owner of the less-serious and less-sensitive Deus Ex Escathon blog.

The title in question is "Borderline between Hatred and Love."
The purpose of this entry is to explain WHAT KIND OF FANS of a certain media can I tolerate and cannot tolerate. I'll measure each kind with a so-called tolerance meter as well as to state what I might do to them if I meet one.

I'll be using Stephenie Meyer's Twilight, something which I really hate and disgusted with more than any kind of Shoujo manga out there as an excellent example. Since I've chosen Twilight as the subject, I'll now specify what kind of Twilight fans out there that I can tolerate and CANNOT TOLERATE.

Now then.

First, let us look into the most common kind of Twilight fan out there: The Twilight-tard.
A Twilight-tard is a person whose so retarded for Twilight that the person bought all four books, watched the overrated movie, collect all bloody Twilight merchandise out there, pretend to be a vampire for the lulz and other unimaginable Twilight retardation that the person might do to be more insane than the "mistress" Stephenie Meyer. All that fandom the person does and yet the person do not notice the flaws of the whole Twilight farce. Instead, the person would go like Hail Stephenie! Hail Twilight! Hail Edward! Damn straight.

Of course, a Twilight-tard isn't only limited to the rich kind of person that can buy lots of Twilight stuff out there. There are also the poor and unfortunate Twilight-tards that will pout on you for breaking a badly-detailed NECA Edward Cullen action figure that they wanted so much but they cannot afford. Seeing such people in front of you or behind you would just make you want to break "Edward's" face even more.

Tolerance Level: Absolute Zero. Get the hell out of my life!
What I might do to them: Drive a stake to their heart or would break a NECA Edward action figure in their face.


Genesis: Must read...Twilight! Twilight is better than Loveless!

Dallas: Just how many Twilight-tards out there should I bring back to normal? My arm is already hurting!!!

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Second, the moderately-respectable type of Twilight fan: The Purists.
The Purists are simply those who are fans of Twilight because of the overrated series of books and NOT the god damn movie that rated in the equally-darned box office because the whole damn thing timed with the US Recession. To put it simply, the purists are those who say "For god's sake, Robert Pattinson isn't good for Edward! I have someone else in mind or if they're just gonna cast some retards then they might as well not make the movie at all! Oh for the glory of Twilight in exchange for money!"

Tolerance Level: Five out of Ten. Passable.
What I might do to them: "Get that Twilight book out of my face and that Twilight crap or ELSE!" That's all.

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Third, the Twilight Lurker.
Lurkers are those people that out of curiosity, decided to watch the boring movie adaptation or the even more boring series of books. After the first taste in the whole Twilight farce, a Lurker can become...

a. Twilight-tard.
Please see the first part.

b. Twilight Hater.
I would admit to you that I, myself am a Twilight Lurker at first. Instead of levelling up my characters in Dissidia Final Fantasy, I decided to waste my bloody time to read Meyer's farce. Eventually, after awakening to my senses that instead being a fan of the whole overrated vampire barrage; it's better to just sit back and relax, Play Dissidia Final Fantasy and go on with my life. But it doesn't end there.

A lot of factors can lead a person to hate the whole thing such as screaming bitches that don't let you sleep because of either ohhh god Edward Cullen or Robert Pattinson or someone else they have in mind for Edward like Gackt Camui (seriously you guys at Dev-Art, GTFO/STFU! Gackt IS NOT and WOULD NEVER BE Edward Cullen. GACKT IS A BILLION TIMES BETTER...and that's coming from a Neutral fan of Gackt.). I ended up being a Twilight hater and if you must insist for a real explanation, go ahead and e-mail me. I'll be glad to spill it there. But for now, let me state my tolerance level for such Twilight Haters aka: Rational People.

Tolerance Level: Ten out of Ten. Worth Worshipping.
What I might do to them: Kiss their feet or give them a big hug. Whichever of the two they prefer. We belong to the same ilk!

c. Twilight-Whatever
Just those people who want to spend their time so they decided to watch a movie with their girlfriend or whoever that was. Apparently, the other person watched to watch the overrated movie adaptation of the whole overrated Twilight franchise. The Twilight-Whatever person just watched the movie with the other person or just fell asleep in the Cinema the whole time. Upon getting out of the theater, the Twilight-Whatever would say "Sweetie, you like watching crap like those?" or "Let's watch something BETTER next time, please?"

Tolerance Level: Seven out of Ten. Neutral.
What I might do to them: I won't do anything to them as long as they won't ask me to go out and watch the second Twilight movie or the first one for god's sake. If they do the latter, I'll end up treating them the same as what I'd do to a Twilight-tard or a Purist.

===

Fourth, "the Arm of Justice"
These are simply those people who believe that they can do better than Stephenie Meyer. They claim it and write something and if that something they wrote is much better than Twilight, they gain the respect of the world. If not, they will just face an angry mob of Twilight-tards for challenging their "God who should get a life."

...but we all know that there's only one Vampire novel writer that can be better than omfg Meyer: Anne Rice.

Tolerance Level: Five out of Ten. Passable.
What I might do to them: Your literary work is but another piece of Vampire crap. Try doing something else for a change!

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Fifth, the Twilight Moderate
These are the people whose fandom for Twilight do not compromise their own life (...or do they have a life in the first place so why would they read/watch the damn thing?) and that they dare not to speak about it outside their respective communities and or personal havens. When you pass by a certain Twilight Moderate, they would just simply wave their hand at you and say "Hi!" and would never bother to ask you "Do you know/like Twilight?" because they, the fans, are so aware that there are haters to Meyer's crap out there.

Tolerance Level: Nine out of Ten. Very much respectable.
What I might do to them: Don't talk to me about Twilight, okay? You're a rational being for god's sake. Or else, I'll end up treating them the same as what I'd do to a Twilight-tard or a Purist.

===

Sixth, the True Bitch
True Bitches are simply those bitches of the same feather as those who hate Miyaka Yuuki (Fushigi Yuugi) and Aya Mikage (Ayashi no Ceres); because they think the lead male, which is Edward Cullen, is better for them.

They proceed to make Bella hate sites because they think Edward is for them or Edward is better for someone else...which all goes down to themselves.



Tolerance Level: One out of Ten.
What I might do to them: Stop screaming like a bitch or I'll make you even more scream when I ram Grell Sutcliff's chainsaw on your face.

===

Seventh, the Hopeless Romantics
"...or just Hopeless to begin with." - Lovestruck (GMA Films)
These people are whose asses are always being missed by Cupid's arrow. Unlucky in love or just those who don't like their low-quality suitors. That they decided to just hop in the Twilight craze. It makes me wonder if a person is a Hopeless Romantic at first so they decided to go with the damn thing or just that they have no life. Ah.

Tolerance Level / What I might do to them: They can be any of the afformentioned seven types: Twilight-tard, Purist, Lurker, Hater, Whatever, "Arm of Justice", Moderate and True Bitch. As such, Hopeless Romantics would be treated and tolerated accordingly.

In conclusion; whatever kind of fan you might be, it's better to be discrete about it because you might not know that the person you're dealing with actually don't like the same craze as your's and that might be the last day of your life.

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