THIRTEEN, 13, XIII = The Unlucky number!!!

There is a certain Play Arts set which is sickening me up to no end until now.

Just thinking about how much of a frenzy it would bring in the future is making my temperature rise up to the point of people mistaking me having A(H1N1).

However, what makes me sickened more are those fascinated newbies who aren't really into Play Arts or not even into Square-Enix games in the first place but will jump in just because of fascination and just because they happened to have enough moolah to fap on the Shiva Bike Yuri-fest, Lightning, Oerba-dia-Vaniloli, Snow Michaelis, brokeback Odin...and Sazh's afro hair and take the first hand from the poor poor penniless VETERANS.

It's making toy collecting look more like Thomas Hobbes' Lycan Theory more than Schrodinger's Cat or Laplace's Demon turned into a Play Arts figure.

Zetsubo-shitta. Eien no Zetsubo-shitta!

Really despicable.

I remember the time when I had to rush on a cold Wednesday night (damn, to think all my jackets are in the laundry too), right after my first day of Final Exams just to get a Zack Fair Play Arts figure...which turned out to be my first and last chance of having the damn porcupine-headed handsome bastard.

Thank you, Zack. I had a flu after that. <_<


...and then, Reimi. I feel like bitchslapping Reimi Saionji right now. Edge, don't stop me. I want her slapped. Really! <_<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

...but there's only one way to relieve this:

*sends thousands of e-mails to any store that will possibly open preorders*

:D

NECA = SHOULD DIE NOW

Since PTK's servers have submitted themselves to Epic Server Fail a while ago, I decided to write this on my Epic Win blog.

NECA's head is A LOT harder than Captain Barbel's Epic Barbanium Barbel.

Rather than making a step to hire Jerry Macaluso and other better sculptors, they ~

1. Spend money on crap like Twilight and super fail quality control.

2. Shelved epic characters like Dante in exchange for GAY bastards like Edward Cullen and ever-deserving-to-die bitches like Bella Swann.

3. Put the names of their FAILED sculptors, they're so even proud of it, on the packaging (so that we know who to blame)

4. Making UNIMPROVED but even WORSE variants of their CHEAP PLASTIC crap:

and yes, they did.
Fuck you NECA. FUCK YOU REALLY.
Ryu's CAST-OFF Gi ("for ghey collectorz" according to our epic friend) was just switched to Ken.

Those Variants are so not worth it b'coz ~
Recycled mold / repaint = EVEN LOWER quality.
Pay the same price = WTF!!!

Although C. Viper is acceptable for customizing a Michael Jackson Smooth Criminal (because NECA are Criminals. They are a BIG disappointment to Fans).
C. Viper is the only one whose worth praising in all SF figures made by NECA JUST BECAUSE another company is YET TO MAKE A FIGURE OF HER.

It's also not an excuse with regards to the artwork imitation of NECA and their poor transition to 3D models.
Because they were UNABLE to stay faithful to the artwork in the First Place and that BANDAI was able to do it PERFECTLY EVEN ON SMALLER SCALES!

It only proves that Japanese or those with good ties with the Japanese are the best in sculpting action figures. After all, Japanese are the ones who made the SF Franchise.

NECA is like (OR MUCH WORSE) than any FAILED Hollywood Studio that wants to make another Box Office Flopper Street Fighter Movie. Soon, we will see Hollywood making a movie "Legend of Cammy" starring:

Miley Cyrus as Cammy White
Zac Efron as Charlie Nash
Christine "Bella Shitass-bitch" Stewart as Sakura Kasugano
Robert "Cedric Fucked-by-Hadgrid Cullen" Pattinson as Ryu
Kirsten "Dunce" Dunst as Chun-Li AGAIN.

With NECA being the company to make the official bullshit merchandise.

Isn't that fucking cool?

Capcom, you better start being wise on who you'd give the license.

GIVE IT TO SQUARE-ENIX BECAUSE THEY MADE YOUR CONTROVERSIAL BIOHAZARD 5 MORE THAN PWNAGE!!!

The most epic chat session EVER.

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: This fucking life is hilarious after all

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Especially if you live in the FAILIPPINES

Cain Nox’s Lucky Cousin: i like that failippines lmao

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Yes, I got two blogs. One serious (the backyard) and one for fun (deus ex escathon: God out of the Apocalypse)

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Failippines is the new name of our country of origin!

Cain Nox’s Lucky Cousin: haha

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Coined since Estrada went to position and is being continued to be used until the worst, which is the midget, came in the Malas-canang palace

Cain Nox’s Lucky Cousin: hahaha

Cain Nox’s Lucky Cousin: u should right about that

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: yeah right

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Right now, the issue is reviving death penalty just because of a girl that got raped daw pero hindi naman. Kinidnap lang talaga

[ Right now, the issue is reviving death penalty just because a girl got raped. REALLY? But she wasn't. She was just kidnapped. (see my previous entry) ]

Because the girl is FUGLY. NO ONE WILL RAPE HER!

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: WTF really

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Tapos there's Gabriella fussing about na may narape daw pero wala naman talagang nirape

[ Then there's Gabriella that will be fussing about that someone got raped when in reality, NO ONE WAS RAPED ]

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Gabriella is the most fucking retarded feminist association in the world

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Since that Fucking Ass Subic Rape Case na si Daniel Smith naman talaga yung nirape

[ Since that Fucking Ass Subic Rape Case when in reality, Daniel Smith was the one who got raped. ]

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Nirape ni Nicole. Nicole only made a fuss just so that she can go to America

[ Raped by Nicole. Nicole only made a fuss just so that she can go to America ]

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Haay social climbing bitches

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: and Daniel Smith's life was raped. He went to the military to save up for his studies.

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Now that he was branded rapist because of some pathetic bitch, his life is worse than raped

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: (and why did Daniel Smith went to the Neptune Bar in the first place?)

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: Simple.

CAIN NOX :: Shin Rengoku Hyouya: FAILIPPINES IS A FUCKING BORING PLACE TO BEGIN WITH. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!

Seriously, for 20 fucking years

(since the end of the reign of the SICK Cory Aquino whose youngest daughter is the most annoying bitch in the Failippines and that the old lady should say good-bye...can't blame mortality),

I'm stuck in the FAILIPPINES.

Though you may have lived more. Well, during the good old times that is, I'm currently living in the worst place to spend the modern times!

If making a fuss involving an American guy would make you go to America faster...or out of FAILIPPINES:

Hah, don't count me in. FUCK YOU NICOLE. You put shame into Filipino women!!!

I'm now starting to learn Mind Over Matter thinking that I'm not in Failippines but some other place like Tralalalalala Land.

Oh you touched my tralala...

TRAP! XD

Girl got raeped = Drug Lords BEWARE?

"Because of the kidnapping and raping of a daughter of a narcotics agent in Baguio; the government is considering about reviving the Death Penalty as the punishment for drug-pushing." - Morning NEWS

LOL

EPIC LOL.

FAILIPPINES is yet to capture a REAL drug lord (and if ever Failippines did, I musn't have been born yet at that time...oh wait, they did captured one: Jess "Goldfinger" Ramos but I only read about him in a history book. Oh well! <_< ) and if they do revive the damn Death Penalty, these things will CERTAINLY happen
1. Epic Win Vatican fussing at the Epic Fail Failippines
2. A lot of fall guys will be executed
3. A lot of innocent people that look like drug addicts may be involved, when in reality, those people are just NEETs that drank too much alcohol or something similar.

Haaay...

Having an "Anarchist" Political Stand is so comfortable.
I don't have to nod to the government like a bobble head at all. ^_^6

(and I don't collect bobble heads either)

Attention you TWILIGHTARDS that know BlazBlue

Even if I effing love Gii (the extremely abused bat) more than anyone in BlazBlue; my personality is undeniably and definitely closest to Jin Kisaragi.

So who the hell is Jin Kisaragi? Is he some guy whose distantly related to Yuffie the FF balls-grabber or Eiji-ninja-dude?

"Soon, you will be taking a bath like this IN YOUR OWN BLOOD!" - Jin

Jin; dubbed as the False Hero, a young man wielding a sword of ice called "Yukianesa" and fights in the graceful sword arts close to "Iaito." His birthday is February 14th (also Valentine's day AND "Kisaragi" is the archaic Japanese term for FEBRUARY) and he is secretly (not shown in the game but in the biography) a collector of Vintage Motorcycles. He has good looks close to Ky Kiske but his personality is that of a slashfest maniac that doesn't care about his comrades especially those who DON'T agree with him; obsessed about anything that catches his fancy (and treats as a nuisance anything that he doesn't like) and is jealous with the over-achievers (DEKISUGIRU-TEMME!!!)

So why the hell did I said I'm like Jin Kisaragi?

First, I am a collector...though not secretly but effing obviously, I collect action figures that catches my attention well. Take note also that, I get OVERLY obsessed with something that catches my fancy. Square-Enix Play Arts, Large-Scale JAPANESE action figures, Queen's Blade Revoltechs, what-effing-not.

Secondly, I treat anything and anyone that I don't like as a nuisance. I can even have murderous intents, that if only I'm allowed to kill those persistent motherf---ers, I could've done it as soon as possible.

"DAMATTERO. Konou Kyuketsuki no daisuki-temme wa..."

So I don't fucking care about the fucking overrated Twilight Saga having a sequel movie "NEW MOON."

Fuck off, get the Bella-fuckers off my face. If you are a Twilightard yourself, learn to shut your fucking fake-vampire-sucker mouth and stop shoving on my face that FAG named Edward Cullen or Jacob Black or anyone else in that Gaijin garbage or I'll certainly hunt you down in real life and have you plunged into eternal damnation to purgatory ice nights (ie: Rengoku Hyouya). ~ KISAMAAAAA!!!

Oh my Fawking Gawd~Makoto Nanaya is a Harry Potter drooler-britch! 0_0;

(Though I can tolerate Harry Potter fans more because Harry Potter kinda symbolize Carl Clover thanks to that small bit from the epic site called "The Fighter's Generation." Carl Clover is Jin's former comrade, btw, but he became a vigilante and he's also out to kill you.)

"Kisama wa nanda? Kisama wa...nanda?" Kisama wa nananda? KISAMA WA NANANDA?!"

Lastly, I'm most definitely harmless and very effing nice to Twilightards who know their place and so they shut up about their Gaijin bullshit but most likely, I'm a "defender" of Square-Enix and Anime/Japanese Pop Culture enthusiasts who gets shoved off in real life by those assholes that suck Stephenie Meyer's bitching trash. That gives me a (very, whatever) small air of being a "hero" but since I'm like a psycho (actually, sometimes more psychotic than Jin) whenever I see something I hate, that "heroism" is regarded as "false."

"Omae, shinnei."

...and of course, YOU have the right to know more about me, not just those bluffs about some BlazBlue guy that happened to be my soulmate.

So, what the hell am I in reality?

I'm currently in college, studying a computer-related course and reading about the End of the World during break times (hence the nickname Escathon / Eschaton)...but my ambition is never related to my course. Not even once ~

What the hell do I want to be?

My real dream is to be a Jack of All Trades and someone who's not too dumb but not too smart...but enough to slap the face of any smartass who boasts lofty recognitions such as being at the top of the class but doesn't even know Mr. Webster enough and is groping the vampire scratch pole cheeks of "Mistress Stephenie Meyer" (OHH BDSM!) like a lesbian or fag with no life at all.

...and why the fuck do I hate Twilight?

Because I wasted time reading that bullshit last December, definitely missing out on the epic video game Dissidia Final Fantasy and levelling up the super pretty boy Kuja whose thong can fuck off any Twilightard along with his Ultima. "KIETE NAKU NARE!!!"

...and why the fucking ass did I even read it?

Just to get along with my classmates. Those motherfuckers with no life that fill our classroom with Twilight trash EVEN IF the subject is all about Religion. I'm an Atheist myself (I see God as a food for the brain, pure knowledge but never someone to believe in for whatever reason) but I respect the effing subject and does not shove not even a grain of vampire shit on my kind professor's eye-glassed face. Hence, I got great marks.

"Fuck you Cullen. First, you stole my name...and then, your fucking bitches are bitching to my fangirls that you're better?!"

ELHOQ ~ He's got hot ass.

PS: Ragna the Sexy Edge's ASS is hotter by 9001 times than the face of Robert Pattinson.

NECA is absolutely FAIL

WARNING: POST CONTAINS EPIC NECA BASHING. NECA FANS, LOOK AWAY NOW BECAUSE THIS IS JUST SADLY THE TRUTH~








The epic failure of the Twilight and Stephenie Meyer stinky ass-kisser toy company called "NECA" in making Resident Evil 5 (Biohazard 5) Action Figures in the ACTUAL LIKENESS of the handsome Chris and the adorable Sheva had been emphasized by the real epic win Square-Enix Play Arts KAI and Hot Toys:

(...and I thank this certain person in Tsuki for the close-up of the NECA Biohazards.)

...another epic NECA fail emphasized by small Bandai Street Fighter 4 Figures.

The Official SF4 Ryu Artwork:

NECA Big Crap: Ryu King Kong-face and Biiiig nostril!

Bandai's Sweet Small Thing: HANDSOME. Nuff said.

...and real EPIC FAIL of NECA on the Castlevania Alucard:


NECA Failucard: Beheaded by my super badass pretty boy mod ~ Alucloud!

Konami Alucard = Awesome but rare... :(

Now the toy company is definitely to be defined as ~
NOT ENDEARING and COPYRIGHT ASSHOLES

WTF Valkyrie Profile Fanfic

Everything seemed to be a normal day for the beautiful goddess of death whose every Valkyrie Profile fanboy's favorite and also the reason why Lezard Valeth loves his daily shot of primitive Viagra pills --- Lenneth Valkyrie.

Seeing dead bodies scattered everywhere is very much normal at the time of Valkyrie Profile which is only god knows effing when. Of course, the sight of dead bodies gives Lenneth her usual why so serious remark ""A defiler of souls must be nearby!" So she walks around the path of the shrewn corpses unmindful of any potential living asshole whose just pretending to be dead just so that he can take a look at Lenneth's prized sapphire-colored chastity belt.

Our lovely fan-favorite Lenneth bends down here and there in hopes to find a good warrior that died a pure-hearted man and not some pervert that was executed or defeated in a duel for perversing over some other warrior's girlfriend.

When all of a sudden she hears a young man screaming --

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!"

Lenneth stood up from where she's been bending down to see where it came from. She frowned and sighed. "It must've been some attention whore." but then...there it goes again!

"IT'S SO NOT MY FAULT, GOD DAMN IT MOTHEREFFING---"

That voice...oh god! That effing voice that scintillates between the voice of Edge Maverick from Star Ocean IV and the overrated tone of everybody's favorite Uchiha sasUKE whose voice actor is none other than You-Ree Uke-wet-all or William T. Spears if you prefer, you Japanophile.

Anyways. Lenneth rushed to where the voice was coming from but decided to hide herself in between some fallen debri for maximum stealth effect. What she sees is rather a horrible sight that's far too unsuitable for the Valkyrie Profile series; more unsuitable than a J-Rocker fag that got fucked up as a minor character:

A silver-haired boy whose not old enough to play Eroge that Japan is so crazy about and a blond guy with some spunky attitude in the ilk of Zack Fair from the Compilation of Gackt Tribute VII. Ohhh god, imagine a minor and some guy whose may or may not at the legal age to do something as drastic as ---

A sequel of Brokeback Mountain right in the middle of a surrounding mountain of corpses.

After shouting his lungs out, the silver-haired boy proceeds to make out with his blond childhood friend. Disgusted by the sight, Lenneth decided to fly away to another location in hopes to finding real HARDCORE STRAIGHT MEN. Shiny white feathers started raining down from the sky but the two Brokeback Mountain actor-wannabes aren't budging from their compromising positions.

Until a buxom goddess of the darkness whispered with her seductive voice "Do you want revenge, sweetie?" The silver-haired necrophiliac temporarily stopped making out with his deceased seme and shouted:

"NO THANKS, I WANT YAOI. BUTTSECKS NOW!!!"

The goddess of darkness in shame replied only a sharp "Hmph!"

-----

Back to the fanboy favorite Lenneth Valkyrie.
Three attempts and all she found are soldiers making out. Actually, those goners are "performing CPR" with attempts to revive their comrades as they had perversely ran out of Elixir (HP recovery item). She could no longer stand seeing the mountain of corpses turn into proto-Brokeback Mountain and so she decided to fly herself to the Northernmost part of Midgard which is god-forsaken Dipan.

She is then greated by some arrogant Black Mage whose trademark quote goes like:
"Welcome, I'm honored to receive a goddess of fools---"

...as for Lenneth's return in greeting:

"SHUT THE F--- UP, J-ROCKING FAG!!! Give me the time machine or else I'll expose to the world that you're doing it with old men!"

The Black Mage, baffled by the goddess' words and accusations of him not being straight, was petrified without even requiring Stone Torch. We could only guess that he's far too guilty.

With heavy steps, Lenneth makes her way into the basement of the bloody kingdom-laid-to-waste. The impact of her iron shoes with the crumbling ground resulted into several debri falling on the petrified black mage that she encountered earlier. Fanboys could only cheer -- "Sweet! Pretty boy's face is finally crushed!" Assholes. Happy now?

Lenneth isn't. She's still pissed off big time. After almost destroying the crumbling castle with her heavy steps, Lenneth finally made it to the basement. The time machine is right in front of her but with a curious note that goes like:

"In order to make the time machine work, take off your armor first...and if you're feeling generous, your clothes too."

The note made Lenneth even more pissed off to the point that she began kicking the damn thing.

"I'm so not here to be a fanservice feeder for dirty old men that aren't contented f---ing J-Rockers!!!"

Until the Time Machine began to work, albeit dizzy for all the kicking Lenneth did.

"Take me to the distant future where I can find HARDCORE STRAIGHT MEN worthy of serving lazy bum Odin!!!"

The time machine granted Lenneth's wish and she was transported to the future...

In the world of guess what:

Compilation of Gackt Tribute VII. Oh yes. The whole bloody franchise turned into a Gackt-fest!

Lenneth luckily landed in a sight hidden from the people's view. Seeing that the people's clothing are too simple that dressing in scanty armor would make you look like either a cosplayer or a whore looking for clients; Lenneth decided to shift into her villager clothes.

She walks around looking for warriors when suddenly she bumped into a silver-haired man whose beautiful hair surpasses even her own.

"Why hello there, beautiful madam. What can I do for you?" he said with such a seductive voice that Lenneth blushed. But Lenneth is straightforward and asked...

"I have but few questions. Are you gay?"

The man laughed off and said "Yes, I am gay...for I am happy to meet you!"

Lenneth smirked and asked again "Do you do it with men?"

The man confidently exclaimed "YES! I do it with men...in the training room! There's three of us flashing our long, hard and---"

"ENOUGH!" Lenneth walked away with heavy steps, splashing the puddles of mud in the rain-drenched streets to the faces of those perverted men that are looking straight at her.

"What's wrong with the world? Why can't I find suitable warriors? ARRGH, this job is harder than I thought it would be! I better return to the past instead." However, there is no more means for her to come back in the past and that the whole timeline of her video game series (Valkyrie Profile) had been retconned to the point that Valhalla is now being ruled by pretty boy Alto Saotome (seiyuu joke not intended) with green hair like another fanboy's favorite Ranka Lee.

Also, Valhalla isn't the ubiquitous ones anymore. It's Shin-Ra. Oh god Shin-Ra!!!

...and when we say Shin-Ra, of course, there is the SOLDIER Director that looks just like Mr. Viagra Pills-taker/Lenneth-fapper.

"Is there a problem, madam?" he politely asked the beautiful Lenneth when all of a sudden...

*SLAP* "Defiler of souls! You dare to follow me even in this distant future?!"

"I'm sorry? I don't understand what you're talking about."

"Don't you pretend because you have naked pictures of me in your laptop!!!"

The director laughed off at her to which he received another slap, this time in the other side of his face.

"Okay. Madam, I think you are clearly suffering from something worse than postpartum depression."

But she's stubborn as declaring "You dare say that because you want to impregnate me? You bastard!"

"Fool! Why would the director dare to touch a crazed woman like you?" says everyone's favorite Gackt-Seed: Genesis Rhapsodos. The only other person other than Lenneth who'd be properly named in this story.

"Fool? How dare you follow me too you J-Rocking fag!" Lenneth went on shouting.

"Excuse me. I wish that you buzz off from your senseless accusations. It's not fit for a beauty such as you."

Genesis' words seems pretty convincing...

"You're straight? As in, hardcore manly man?" she asked.

"Why yes, of course. But not the strict sense of hardcore as I am a lover of poetry." says Genesis.

Finally, Lenneth found her ideal warrior!

"You must come with me to Valhalla." she said.

"What's that, some sort of...club or bar?" Genesis grinned.

He got slapped by Lenneth in return.

"You're too straight, are you?"

"Why yes, I am."

When all of a sudden...

"Genesis. God, you forgot to wear your red thong again..." said a well-built man with a neat haircut which we could assume is Genesis' childhood friend.

"That's so embarrassing!" Genesis blushed.

Lenneth on the other hand was like "WTF, only Frei wears red thongs!" before she shut off herself, resigning to her fate of being locked away in a white room and bound with a straightjacket.

~ End